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Sometime In The Future...

So now we are 2 years into the future of the previous post. What a rollercoaster, lol.  I moved to Colorado. It's beautiful here, and I love every part of it, yet somehow I still feel like I don't belong here. I don't belong back home in Texas, and I don't belong here. Why do I constantly feel like I am longing, searching for something more than what I already have?  I moved to Colorado. I found a job after a month of living here. I loved it at first but turned out to be a terrible job. My coworkers and my boss were some of the coolest people I had ever met, and I am so happy to say that I am still friends with them, even though we all have moved on from that job. I got over my last ex thank GOD.. but it was hard. He still talks to me every now and then and I cringe at the sight of his name on my phone. I still need to *fully* forgive myself for that, but I am getting better with time. I met a guy... and I couldn't even begin to explain how I feel when I see him. Ev
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3 Years Later

Holy shit. What a post before this one. If I only knew what was lying ahead of me then, bless my naive soul , I would have run away and NEVER returned. So here we are. 3 years and then some... a lot has changed. A lot has happened. A lot is going to happen. As a 26 year old, I feel like I have been through so much, yet I haven't been through much at all at the same time, if that makes any sense. Everyone fights different battles, I shouldn't be one to make judgments on who has been through more or less. I guess I'm just trying to say some people I know have been through and have it worse than I do, so why the fuck should I complain? I'm moving to Colorado in 10 days . There are currently some problems with my car (finance assholes say I can't take it out of state or some shit?) so I'm in a road block but, I still plan on going regardless of the outcome. I'm not sure when the next time will be for me to visit this blog. I forgot it existed in the first pl
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Wow. The last time I wrote on this blog was when I was 20 years old. So much has happened since then... Right now I'm in a deep hole. I can crawl out slowly but it will cause much pain.. I don't understand how you can say you love someone and then one day just toss them out of your life like they meant nothing to you? I guess I will never understand selfish motives, but I will accept them. Try to move on. Maybe fucking cry 10,000 more times about it and then I will move on. But I am praying, hoping, wishing, begging that none of this is really true and I am just in some fucking nightmare. I need him. Am I co dependent? Maybe. But he is too and I think that's what scared him. I know it's not healthy but you don't throw away a genuine fucking relationship.... I am fucking torn. Selfish me is begging for you back baby, but the other part of me knows what you are going through. I just wish I could fucking be there with you through it all. I love you...
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